English-Finally! Summer plans! POLSKAAAAAAAAAAAA!

Finally! Summer plans!

polska 1

Gotcha! A few weeks ago I got accepted to the Summer University in Poznan and Gdansk in my beloved Polska!
Back to where my life with AEGEE started. My first summer university was in Poland aswell, although it was more to the South and Center(Katowice, Kielce, Krakow). Beautiful country. Although Katowice might as well be bombed flat and started all over again…:/
I learnt many many very useful things during my 3 week long stay in the county of Pivo and Vodka.
Just to tip all you brave people(specially for the guys) who are going to Poland, remember:

-you can´t drink more Vodka than a Polish guy. Maybe more mixed Vodka, beer and then Vodka…but not straight Vodka. It´s their national sport. Just…don´t.
-Trains go 0,0005 km per hour. You could walk quicker if you wanted to. But its always an adventure! I had an awesome hour long conversation with an old couple who didn´t speak any ENglish, Spanish, Dutch, German or anything I could speak. Needless to say I don´t know Polish. What did we talk about? buf…beats me!
-little kids probably beat you drinking vodka too. Just…dont risk it.
-old grandmothers drink more than you. I had acrazy experience drinking vs a Polska grandmother. Wow.
-Polish people will scream and repeat that every different vodka has a different scent or taste. False. They all smell and taste like old gasoline. Except for Zubrowka. Just to keep you safe: tell them that it´s true..that you can taste the difference or they´ll make you taste both kinds again!
-The Golden Rule. First time I tell you: don´t call them “russians”! 😛
-People are very very friendly and everything seems to be a good reason to celebrate!
-Food is more varied than you´d think! Desserts are SO SWEET! Seem to be 99% sugar!
-Poland is cold Poland is cold Poland is cold. TRUE. But in Summer….buffff. I had two weeks long of almost 40º without wind three summers ago. Epic death.
-Just in case you think of saying “Polish sounds just like Russian, Czech and “all those languages””. just…DON´T. Although you KNOW they are 99% the same! xD
-Remember the Golden Rule!
-careful. After a crazy horny sexy Saturday night out…you might be woken up by two pretty Polish girls to…. (wait for it)… bring them to a Church. Yes, we were all expecting a “cooler” ending. Me too. This is a true story! ahahah
-after a awesome house party, when you wake up, no “glass of water” is a glass of water. The Polish God comes down when everybody is asleep/in coma and turns all that water in Vodka. DON´T SAY I DIDNT WARN.
-Remember the Golden Rule! I won´t say it again! 😉
-a “Polish dinner” is an incredible party where girls “cook” and guys buy vodka. In the end you just have 4 or 5 tapas on the table and tons of bottles and “nazdrovje”´s!
-One of every 1,5 words in Poland is Curva. Its like “joder” for us in Spain! Remember, this word is the same in aaaaall central eastern Europe. You can use it and make people laugh. I did at least!
-Women take a long time to get ready, and look their very best..even if its just to buy the newspaper a second downstairs. Guys really don´t. Or not Marzin? 😛
-The “Ale Urwal” video that went viral some years ago will still make people laugh when they hear it. Just remember to use it when people are drunk!
-Polish guys love to show “friendship” when they get to know you drinking a shot with you. Awesome tradition untill you have to say “hi” to 20 guys who are all 20 times bigger than you. BELIEVE ME.
-One other thing I learn Polish guys love doing is convincing you to go up to a Polish girl and say some Polish words or catch frase that they made you learn with a held back laugh on their faces. They´ll all look at you from a safe distance while they try not to crack up. Two options: you get slapped or you get lucky. For the moment 6-0 on the first option. Still they´ll laugh their asses off! True/sad story!
Ill just say one last one. This one is also a personal experience. One of the dumbest/scariest ones I´ve lived! Partying in Kielce. Its so loud that we are all having shots outside. My Spanish friend had already thrown up an hour ago and was totally shit-faced leaving me as the (sigh) Spanish Macho Alfa (I was the only one left on my feet :S). Suddenly somebody touches my shoulder. Le drunkest in the world me turns around to face two huge Polish policemen.
Needless to say my “heart turned around”. I had a flash of images of Gulags, work camps, a “friendly” loving cell-mate, etc etc. So the guy pretty much shouts something in my face(or that I thought). He turns around to tell the other cop something. I use that split second to turn around and start sprinting like Husain Bolt through the croud of Polish friends screaming “Run guys! Save yourselves!!!”. Nobody moved. I ran for a couple of km untill I was super tired and super lost.
Took me half an hour to find the house again. The Policemen had only told us to keep it down and if they could have a drink. Oh yeah, they probably laughed at me. Currrrrrrva!

Can´t wait for Poland once again! Let´s just hope its as epic as last time! Polska! Here I come, bro!

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