Why Ryanair is my “love at first flight”

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to the point

Ok! Decided! Next person who tells me: “flying with Ryanair is half-suicide” get´s a free punch to the face… (in a very peaceful, hippie,  tolerant and constructive style…!)

First of all, no Ryanair doens´t pay me to write awesome things about it. Would be cool right? I´d write that they gave me  Russian caviar, French Champaign and a seat I actually could sit in comfortably if they did…but let´s face it… wont happen! (although Mr O´Leary..I will leave my bank account details at the end of the article..just…in…case..)

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The good old Ryanair Westfalia…I think I´ve got it right..

 
Btw, if any Americans read this, or people who don´t live in Europe actually…Ryanair is out “Southwest Airlines”…or “paper-plane/origami-plane” company..

This is just a reaction to the (specially) young people who tell me Ryanair is dangerous and not worth flying with. Old people? I can, maybe, understand… but young people!?

I can buy 5 Ryanair flights for the price of one “normal” ticket with a “normal” company. For the price I have flown at times I wouldn´t care if I had to be on my feet, holding on to the wings or land the plane myself. Man, I wouldn´t care if they threw me into the plane like they do with my luggage(independant of the words “careful/fragile/ don´t toss this like a fucking football).

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hahaha lol…wait…is this true..?

Now, don´t get me wrong: Ryanair is not too comfortable. I´m not a big guy and I can hardly fit in the damn seat(made for hobbits..you see..)! You don´t get food, drink, or oxigen if they could cut costs there too! They have thought of making people pay for using the toilets and the flight attendants don´t even usually treat you very well…

I even have the idea that they know you are not looking at the flight security demonstrations and just dance “La Macarena” while you are already snoring or reading….

BUT…again….if you can fly to Budapest and back to Spain for hardly 60e…. My way of calculating this is:

60e=60 vodka shots where I go out. What is better..? Ok, now I´m doubting…but after nº15 I´m sure I would be!

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nothing to do with Ryanair…but with the 60 shots….

No really, let´s get serious! People who really travel know what they are talking about! Just sit back in your tiny little seat in the “Ryanair sauna” with two engines ( that you keep on looking at to make sure they haven´t caught fire) and two taped-on wings and sleep until the landing trumpet song tells you that you have arrived on YET ANOTHER on-time flight (even though you are thinking…wow…I´m alive…!?)

Yes, I also hear people say “but when your luggage weighs 2 kg too much../ you have to print your boarding pass and if you forget…/they sometimes change the gate right before the flight…

yeah yeah yeah…

Also true! More adventure! I have sometimes bought flights for 10e(or less..). It wouldn´t be a problem for me if they chased me into the plane with a flamethrower!

Once you get used to flying with them you know exactly what luggage piece you should bring, how late you can arrive to the airport and still get there JUST AS they open the line, where to sit down to be the first one out, and how to be able to bring 200kg(as long as you take 190kg out of your luggage piece right before departure, put it on, and say that the 13 extra sweaters you have on is just because you are from Vladivostok and you feel “a little cold”)

For the ones between us who are not scared of Ryanair: just keep on praying so that the “Ryanair-virus” expansion system keeps on moving more and more to the East and South. Who knows…I read an article about Ryanair thinking of putting up a America-Europe company with “proportional” ticket fares(+/-250). Pray people…or I´ll do it for you!

Therefore, until the moment Ryanair´s planes fall out of the sky one out of…say…2 times… AS LONG AS the tickets are still so cheap…they can bully me on their website, insult me as I get in or even push me in..

By the way, super funny story(and true story!). In NO OTHER company was I ever given the phone number of a Stewardess as I was getting out of the plane to see if I wanted a place to stay around Milan(Bergamo)……

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after breathing some of the “oxygen” from the oxygen masks…

Ok, have to admit. IT WAS THE ONLY STEWARD..GUY… on the plane. JODER!  Tough luck! ahahahaha Still an awesome story….!

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